All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
wow bdsm is so cute
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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