So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
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