I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm both gender and math confused
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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