got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Are my feet made of real feet?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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