I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
