don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just high enough for therapy.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
