I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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