Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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