it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
