So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
