My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
