That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
