That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
