did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
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Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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