just survived the first fart of the relationship.
we made out on top of his cat.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
We need to get me chipped asap
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
