HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
the condom got lost in my hair
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
