There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
