you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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