just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
