apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
