I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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