Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
