It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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