Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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