I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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