So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
