Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
