I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Randomize
