why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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