Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
