Just took my morning after pill in the library
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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