the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
