508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
