About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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