May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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