Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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