Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
