my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize