Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize