I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Send help, water and tortillas.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Randomize