with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
