Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
