he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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