Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
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