Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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