Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
