He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
