I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
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