You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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