Just fell off a train. Bad.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
