Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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