Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
