yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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