i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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