just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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