The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
