I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
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I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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