haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize