So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
