I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize