Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
