Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
